Tue, 06 Apr | Online workshop

Answering Children's Questions about Separation

Registration is Closed
Answering Children's Questions about Separation

Time & Location

06 Apr 2021, 20:00 – 21:00 BST
Online workshop

About the Event

Do you still love daddy? 

Will you get back together again? 

Why can't I stay with you tonight? 

Mummy lets me eat in my bedroom, why can't I do it here?  

Can you imagine your children asking you any of those questions?  

How would it feel? What would you say?  

A common and understandable reaction would be a pang of guilt followed by a scramble to look for an answer that would hopefully make it better for the children. Deliver the answer and hope that this question will never come up again.   

If you can relate, I would like to invite you to explore a different approach.   

When children ask questions after separation, it is a good thing, a trusting invitation to connect. They are opening the doors into their world. They might be sharing their confusion, upset, asking for reassurance... 

Think of your children's questions as the tip of the iceberg - often, there is more to it. Here are a couple of examples of what children might be trying to express with their questions:

 Do you still love daddy? - Will you love me no matter what? 

Will you get back together again? - I desperately want you to get back together. I am struggling to accept that this is happening. I feel stuck and confused.  

Why can't I stay with you tonight? - There have been too many changes in my world recently. I feel lost. I need a break. 

Mummy lets me eat in my bedroom, why can't I do it here? - Please show me that you can take charge of this situation here in a kind way so that I can feel safe with you.   

When we look for the answer to the first question that comes, we might miss what the children are really asking for. In this workshop, I will invite you to try some listening exercises that can help you shift your focus from answering the questions to embracing this opportunity to connect with your children. Approaching children's questions this way can help you to:

  • Let go of the pressure to come up with an answer
  • Help your children trust their own gut instincts, feelings and judgements (especially if they might be are hearing confusing, contradicting messages)
  • Avoid oversharing
  • Feel confident in your parenting
  • Feel that what you are doing for your children is enough
  • Get to know how your children are feeling, thinking, what they are hoping for, what is important or difficult for them
  • Relax into knowing that you can figure out the answers together

Listening is a skill. It means that anyone can get better at it with practice. The exercises we will do at the workshop are designed to can help you to:

  • Find your inner stillness and prepare to listen to your children
  • Stay present with what your children are communicating
  • Respond in a way that invites your children to share a little bit more

Date: April 6, 2021

Time: 8-9 pm UK time

Bookings: Choose the number of tickets you would like to reserve in the form below and click "checkout". You will receive a Zoom link in the confirmation email as soon as you have booked your place.

Please note the workshop will not be recorded. Participants will need to attend live. If you have any questions, email me at una@parentingafterseparation.co.uk. I very much look forward to seeing you at the workshop.

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